Fucked Up Again.

Well hello loves,

I fucked up again. I didn't finish the 10 day challenge, but today at 2 (2.5 hrs ago) I started a fast with some lovlies on Twitter. Its kinda a competition so I can't fuck up. =]

Well that's all for now. I'll update you once I'm done with my fast and restart the 1 day challenge.

Love you all,

Marie

Finally Not Sick

Hello beauties!

Well I'm finally 90% not sick anymore. While I was sick I ate like shit and didn't exercise once. It has now been about two weeks since my last workout. 

Starting tomorrow I am doing the 10 day challenge. This includes exercise and I'm about to rock this bitch! Going to weigh in for the first time in two weeks. I'll weigh in tomorrow and then everyday. I'll post my starting and in between weights as I go. 

Stay strong loves!

~Marie~

Progress and Yes/No Foods

Hello loves!

So after I weighed in this morning I am now 135.9 lbs! That is good so far, but still high. I've become very determined and I exercise almost everyday and eat at the most 300 calories. I've also have become vegan. Yesterday I slipped up and had a cupcake...it wasn't even vegan and I hated myself for it.

I slightly pulled my right hamstring muscle Monday when working out, so I took yesterday off. It still hurts, but I took a step aerobics class this morning and going to go on the treadmill and either the elliptical or the stationary bike.


Anyways the following is the my yes and no foods list:

Yes: Fruits, veggies, 0 cal teas with splenda, Diet Coke or other diet sodas, 5 hour energies or an off brand (4 cals for the bottle I believe), almond/soy milk, nuts (in very low portions), and vegan cereals/oatmeal.

No: Anything not vegan, vegan cookies and other junk foods, regular sodas/non zero cal teas, processed foods (other than almond/soy milk and oatmeal/cereal), pasta, and fast food.


Let me know what other foods should be on my No list. I feel like non-vegan covers a lot of things.


Thanks loves,

Stay strong.

~Marie~ 

Make Today Count

Hello beauties!

Just was on the elliptical for an hour, burnt 655 calories and went 6.00 miles! Proud of it. I'm also almost 14 hours into my 60 hour 0 calorie fast.

Weighing in on Friday. Not excited, but I gotta do it.

I'll check in on Wednesday!

Love you all.

~Marie~

Was Forced To Eat

Update: My fast restarted an hour and 15 minutes ago. I will be going 120 hours. I was forced to eat dinner by my mom and purged about half of it. Since I couldn't purge it all, I took lax. I am not looking forward to the cramps in the morning, but I know I deserve the pain.

My fast will now be ending at 10pm PST on Friday. =] This fast should be easier because I will not be forced to eat since my mom and I won't be home at the same time most of the time.

~Marie~

Update

Hello lovelies!

So sorry for taking so long to post again.

I made it to 50 our of 100 hrs of a fast and to celebrate I smoked 3 small hits of weed. Then I went to my kitchen to smoke hookah and that's when shit went down hill fast. My heart started racing, my eyes went blurry, and then I fell down while standing and hit my head twice. I had to call my mom and then was forced to eat. =/

But now I'm starting a new 100 hour fast. I am determined. My fast will end on Wednesday at 10 pm PST. I doubt I will eat that night though so it will go over 100 hours. I have to make this happen. I am more determined then ever. I need new workout shoes and I won't let myself get them until I fast for at least 100 hours straight with 0 calories. I will update my weight on Monday and let you know how fat I truly am still.

Oh and my body is now rejecting food, which I think is good and bad. After I eat anything my body starts too hurt everywhere and my body tries to purge without me even thinking about it at first. My solution is to not eat.

Well that's an update on my life.

I can't wait to update you with how I am doing.

~Marie~

Excited for Spring!

Hello lovelies!

So I am going back to school and I am very excited! My classes will only be two days a week from 5:30 to 10:15 pm. I am also going to go back to a temporary job for summer relatively soon. That would mean that I will have two jobs and school. I will have time only to workout and study. I'm so happy.

I start April 2nd at school. I will lose weight by then. =]


Talk to you all soon!

~Marie~

I'm Back

Hello lovelies!


Sorry I have been away so long. My dad, my binge trigger, has been home and so most of last week was a disaster. Ugh, is all I can say about it.

My weight is back to 143 lbs. Ugh. But as of 11 pm, I have been fasting 27 hours and I plan on continuing until someone makes me juice for lent. If I make it 100 hours I am going to reward myself somehow. I haven't decided what the reward will be. I will update you either tomorrow or the next day with an update!

~Marie~

Calorie Intake: 0 

Calorie Output: 600

Elliptical for an hour, 450 crunches, 50 squats, and 30 wall push ups. Hopefully I can workout twice tomorrow. 

• Bones are lovely. Bones are pure. Fat is impure. I must get rid of my fat. 
• I want to fit my hands around the top of my arm.

Lent!

Hi lovelies!

Sorry I haven't posted in a while. I had a binge streak and I have just broken it yesterday. I'm back up to 140 pounds, but that will soon change.

So I'm actually not Catholic, I'm Buddhist, but I am going to celebrate Lent this year. This year I am giving up solid foods. I am going to be juicing the whole time. By juicing I mean... I'm going to say I'm juicing, but I'm mainly going to be doing a water fast with juicing on the weekends. I actually got my mom to agree with me juicing. She doesn't know all the details, but she's not going to stop me. So glad.


Stay Strong Skinnies!

~Marie~

• If you keep saying you will start tomorrow, you're never going to start.

Hello Loves!

Today is the first day of a liquid fast.

I've already burned 450 calories at the gym and I still need to do my crunches, jumping jacks, squats, wall push ups, and wall sits. =]
I'll be over my goal of 500 calories burned today.

My intake has only been water today so far and I'll probably have green tea later. =]

Hopefully I can trick my mom into going to sushi on Friday or Saturday instead of tomorrow. I want my liquid fast to last at least 3 days.

Visit my twitter if you have an ED. @inanasarms =]


Stay Strong My Loves!!!

~Marie~

Day After My Birthday

Hello Sweeties!


So yesterday was awful! My mom took me out to dinner and I had to eat all of it. I tried to purge, but only got out about half of it. I didn't even get a chance to workout. I hate myself. Today I have to exercise at home, so I'm going to dance and do some muscle exercises like squats.

Stay Strong!

~Marie~

My Birthday!

Hello lovelies!

Today is my birthday! I'm 20 now! It doesn't feel like much of a celebration. If i was my goal weight, I would be happier.

I woke up late, so I have to work out after all the stuff I'm doing today is done. Unfortunately, that includes lunch with my mom. =/ I hate going to eat, I never know how many calories are in the food and it TERRIFIES me!

Food is such an enemy now that when I dream, it is of food. I cry in my dreams because I know how awful food is for you! I just wish I could somehow skip the lunch today! =/

Well stay strong!

~Marie~

Goals

Hey Sweethearts!

Here are some of my goals:

Goal Weight 1: 120 lbs

Goal Weight 2: 110 lbs

Goal Weight 3: 100 lbs

Ultimate Goal Weight: 90 lbs

Weight Loss Per Day: at least 1 lb. 

Weight Loss Per Week: at least 7 lbs. 

Estimated Date of GW1: 2/28/12 - hopefully sooner

Goal Calorie Intake Per Day: Less Than 500 

Goal Calorie Output Per Day: Over 500

Goal Miles Per Week: at least 15

Water Intake Per Day: at least 32 oz. - Note: too much water can make you lose too much electrolytes causing  brain damage and death. Make sure you drink low calorie sports drinks. Some come as low as 10 or 20 calories per serving.

Stay Strong Beauties!

~Marie~

 

New Day

My fast lasted 48 hours. I was forced to eat a roll last night by my friend since I became dizzy.

I hate it and feel like I have failed. No eating again today.

I also made a twitter account the other day @inanasarms is my name and you are welcome to follow me.

I just want to be thin, happy, and perfect. I am scared to eat and when I sleep I dream of food. It makes me cry and feel ashamed. I wake up crying. I hate it. I wish my dreams were dreams of being thin instead the nightmares of eating. When I wake up I always have to weight myself, in fear that I actually did eat.

Sorry for failing. I won't fail today!

Love you all. Stay Strong!

~Marie~

Thin is good. Thin is great. Don't eat that food on your plate!

Day Two of Fast!

Hello beauties!

Today is the second day of my fast and so far so good! Just drinking water, VitaRain, and tea again today!

Already went on the elliptical for 20 minutes, burning 200 calories and I'm taking a Zumba class tonight! I may also take this class called HEAT aka high energy athletic training. I've never taken it before so I am excited.

Not much else to update as of yet.

Remember: No Excuses! You can do this! Stay strong and keep summer in mind. =]

~Marie~

Day One

Today is day one of the fast.

I am doing great! About to workout and burns this fat off of this body. I'm starting a new circuit today on top of my regular workouts.

I will be doing, 200 regular crunches, 50 crunches on each side, 100 jumping jacks, arm curls, abductors and adductors, calf raises with weights on my ankles, a variety of lunges, push-ups, toe taps, box hops, burpees, reverse crunches, one-leg dumbell lifts, v-twist for abs, and 45 minutes on the elliptical. This workout will be for the entire fast, and probably longer, with variations to keep things exciting.

If you have a favorite exercise, please post it below!

Stay Strong!

~Marie~

Starting a Fast

I weighed myself today and I have already lost a pound. I'm 139 pounds now. Still not good, but it is better!

So I decided to start a fast tomorrow. It's just going to be three days, but i think it will help me get fully on track. My fast will only be water, VitaRain, and teas like Green Tea, Detox Tea, and Smooth Move Tea (laxative tea). 

I will up date you after my fast is over about my weight, waist size, how it went, and how I feel. I am excited for this fast to start. 

I would be starting today, but I have a date with a guy I've been talking to...lets call him Ben. He is really sweet and is super sweet. He keeps me motivated in working out and eating less because he fights in mma and he is always on a strict diet too. Hes basically a diet buddy, without know it! Its pretty sweet because then I can talk to him about my diet and work outs without him thinking anything is strange. 

Does anyone have any tips and tricks for fasting? I would love to hear them!

Stay Strong

~Marie~

Hiding Your ED from Family & Friends:

• Make food for the group and when you give everyone their food, say that you ate some of the food while you were making it so you aren't hungry anymore. Say you'll eat some more later, but don't. Leave a plate out looking like you ate. 

Tips:

• Have small snacks throughout the day rather than eating three larger meals. It will keep your metabolism running. 
• Instead of eating, workout. 
• Do jumping jacks or even walk a little bit every hour. Raises your metabolism a little bit and every calorie counts!

Today's Thinspiration - 

Hello ED World!

Hello there!


This is my first time blogging! But don't worry. I won't post pointless stuff. I'll update you on m journey with an eating disorder and post tips, tricks, thinspo, stories, and whatever else I can think of related to eating disorders. I will post thinspo or an inspirational quote at the bottom of every blog post. =]


I do not endorse others to start having an eating disorder or trying to become anorexic or bulimic. Eating disorders are not a diet, they are a lifestyle brought on psychologically.


For those of you that already are living with an eating disorder, hello, you are not alone. It may feel that way, but you have many others like you. 


I will be adding more pages to this blog, including thinspo, Ana and Mia stories, and quotes/motivational sentiments. 


A little about myself: I will be going as Marie, my middle name, and I am turning 20 years old on February 11th. My current weight is about 140 pounds. I say around because I am afraid to weigh myself. I will be weighing myself tomorrow and let you all know what the awful news is. I am only 5 feet 1 inch tall, which puts me at a BMI of 26.5, classifying me as overweight. 
I have been living with EDNOS since I was fourteen years old. I got down to 103 pounds at one point and I long to be that weight again. I also was a cutter and I have scars all over the calves of my legs. I cut my legs instead of my arms because I was in ballet until two years ago when I went to college, tried to recover from EDNOS,and became fat. Now I am giving my life back to "Ana" or anorexia. I was so much happier when I had the disorder in my life and it never truly left, I just covered it up with food. I'm ready to be skinny and happy. I'm ready to give my life back to my eating disorder.

Stay Strong!

~Marie~